A taste of my own medicine

Being that this blog is primarily concerned with the dissemination of harmful propaganda to the world at large, I must come clean about my role in this exact same practice last week, as I endeavoured to help out a friend and generate some income at the same time.

According to Webster's dictionary, propaganda is defined as; the systematic or widespread promotion of a particular doctrine or idea. The doctrine in this case could be classified as that of western medicine in general, and the practice of pharmacy in particular.

Now, it's been about two years since I gave up the profession of pharmacy in order to manage a small esoteric bookstore. The pay ain't great, but the fringe benefits of setting my own hours and actually doing something that I love far outweighs the burden of hawking dangerous poisons for some faceless corporation. Anyway, after two years of not practicing, my license was set to expire permanently, and in the spirit of keeping all my options open, I considered taking a part-time pharmacy job. In these days of impending economic apocalypse, I figured it was best not to burn any bridges as far as income is concerned. So, when my friend who owns a small local pharmacy needed someone to do some relief work and asked me help, my fate was sealed.

One of the main reasons for my overwhelming distaste of the profession was the constant need to push dangerous and unnecessary medicines onto people who being sick, were sincerely asking for help. Pharmacy is not really about helping people get better per se, it is more concerned with masking the symptoms of disease by propagating corporate pharmaceutical dogma.

Take the common cold for example. In every pharmacy there are literally hundreds of different products, rows and rows of shelves with different coloured boxes, each claiming to be the one quick cure for whatever symptoms one may have. In reality, each product consists of combinations of not more than FIVE different classes of medicines, none of which do anything to help a person get over the common cold.

Analgesics, antihistamines, decongestants, anti-tussives and expectorants, that's about it. The entire cough and cold section is one big marketing lie. And as a pharmacist, it becomes my professional duty to propagate this lie onto the consumer, all the while pretending that one product is better or more suitable than the other.

That's what got me into so much trouble in my last job, because I continuously refused to play this game and rather than tell people what the bosses wanted me to in order to increase the bottom line, I would instead tell the truth about what products they were buying. So, when someone with a cold came in and asked me which cough syrup was best for them, I would often say jokingly; "close your eyes and pick one". When questioned further, I would explain that all these different cold medicines were pretty much the same, and if they were serious about getting well, it would be best if they took a week off of work, sat in bed with a cup of lemon and honey tea, drank loads of water and waited for the disease to run it's course.

Good advice it seems, for that is exactly what I needed to do after my first shift behind the counter in two years. As a result of my reentry into the pharmaceutical game, I must have picked up some kind of bug from one of the patients because I just spent the last week in bed with a fever and serious chest infection, coughing up great gobs of green goo. Normally pharmacists develop quite a sturdy immune system from being exposed to so many pathogens day after day. It seems fitting, in an ironic kind of way, that I should become bedridden with a cold after only one shift. However, a week has gone by, and now that my illness has reached it's peak, I'm feeling much better. Not only did I take a week off work to let my body heal, I also went back to the pharamcy and purchased a few cough and cold products in order to lessen the symptoms of my illness. A taste of my own medicine indeed.

Alas, I digress. The cough and cold section is but one small example of the hypocrisies of western medicine, that focuses on the symptoms of the disease, and not the underlying cause. Unfortunately, as in life and in pharmacy, oftentimes people don't want to be told the truth, only want they want to hear. So, in my previous job, whenever a customer insisted that I recommend a certain product, like a conditioned corporate propagandist, I would obediently launch into a professional spiel, extolling the virtues of one type of pill over another.

And this is where I found myself last Monday, determined not to repeat the same mistakes with my friend's business as I had in the past. With as much sincerity as I could muster, I played the role of the wise professional, dispensing advice and mostly unnecessary medicines to people who have been conditioned to trust the words of anyone in a position of authority with a white coat. The whole day went surprisingly well, as I really concentrated on listening to what patients were asking me and endeavoured to give them only what they were asking for and no more.

I realized that it is not my job to enlighten the world about the dangers and hypocrisies of western medicine, and that people may come to these conclusions on their own, in their own time, when they are ready and really asking. In the meantime, I now have the opportunity twice a month to practice external considering in the practice pharmacy, and by extension the world in general.

Relic