The following story appeared on the January 21st edition of the alternative news site Signs of the Times, and even though quite lengthy, compromises a darkly humourous response to the President's Inaugural speech. I'm reprinting it here in it's entireity.
Relic
SOTT
Jan 21/05
Yesterday, George W. Bush was inaugurated for his second term as President of the United States. We could be forgiven for finding it hard to share in the enthusiasm and joy that his supporters in Washington undoubtedly share. Knowing what the next four years of his rule will likely mean for the fate of the planet and all it's inhabitants, it seems that his speech on Capitol Hill in reality would sound more like a eulogy than a stately Presidential address.
It's difficult at the best of times to understand George's incoherent ramblings, and even though he was not the author of his 2005 Inagurual Address, the editors at Signs of the Times thought it might be helpful if we hired a translator to decipher the deeper meaning behind his words.
Vice President Cheney, Mr. Chief Justice, President Carter, President Bush, President Clinton, reverend clergy, distinguished guests, fellow citizens:
Translation:
Mirror, mirror, on the wall...
On this day, prescribed by law and marked by ceremony, we celebrate the durable wisdom of our Constitution, and recall the deep commitments that unite our country. I am grateful for the honor of this hour, mindful of the consequential times in which we live, and determined to fulfill the oath that I have sworn and you have witnessed.
Translation: On this day marked by flagrant and unecessary excess, and while the people of Iraq continue to suffer and die by our hand, we celebrate the material trappings that define our culture. I am grateful for the rigged voting machines of Diebold, the spin doctors in the media, and the Machiavellian tactics of my handler Karl Rove; and with a specious mandate, I'm determined to spend my political capital, now free to do whatever I damn well please.
At this second gathering, our duties are defined not by the words I use, but by the history we have seen together. For a half century, America defended our own freedom by standing watch on distant borders. After the shipwreck of communism came years of relative quiet, years of repose, years of sabbatical - and then there came a day of fire.
Translation: Our duties are not defined by these words written for me, but by the reality that I alone create. For half a century, America has imposed it's will on any third world government that refused to capitulate to it's totalitarian demands. After Communism, there appeared to be years of relative quiet, while our secret undercover intelligence operatives staged successful coup-d'etat's and political assassinations, installing ruthless puppet dictators in poorer countries so that we could exploit their people and resources. After years of this tactic, we got tired of operating in secret, and decided to bring the show out into the open by deliberately staging our own day of fire.
We have seen our vulnerability - and we have seen its deepest source. For as long as whole regions of the world simmer in resentment and tyranny - prone to ideologies that feed hatred and excuse murder - violence will gather, and multiply in destructive power, and cross the most defended borders, and raise a mortal threat. There is only one force of history that can break the reign of hatred and resentment, and expose the pretensions of tyrants, and reward the hopes of the decent and tolerant, and that is the force of human freedom.
Translation: We have taken advantage of our vulnerable citizenry - by exploiting the source of ther deepest fears. For as long as recalcitrant regions of the world refuse to bend to America's will - we will accuse them of resentment and tyranny - we will use our agents in the media to endlessly repeat lies about their ideologies of hatred and murder - and the imaginary spectre of a mortal threat - all the while using our own violence and destructive power against them. There is no force in history that can break our reign of fear-mongering and intimidation, nor one that can expose the pretensions of tyrants like myself and my neocon cabinet. We will dash the rewards and hopes of the decent and tolerant, knowing full well that people will choose slavery as long as we can convince them that they are free.
We are led, by events and common sense, to one conclusion: The survival of liberty in our land increasingly depends on the success of liberty in other lands. The best hope for peace in our world is the expansion of freedom in all the world.
Translation: We are led by dark and malicious forces that we barely comprehend, but whose conclusions we will blindly follow to the bitter end. The survival and success of their nefarious agenda increasingly depends on continued invasion and occupation of other lands. The best hope for all out apocalyptic war in our world is the relentless expansion of American hegemony in all the world.
America's vital interests and our deepest beliefs are now one. From the day of our Founding, we have proclaimed that every man and woman on this earth has rights, and dignity, and matchless value, because they bear the image of the Maker of Heaven and earth. Across the generations we have proclaimed the imperative of self-government, because no one is fit to be a master, and no one deserves to be a slave. Advancing these ideals is the mission that created our Nation. It is the honorable achievement of our fathers. Now it is the urgent requirement of our nation's security, and the calling of our time.
Translation: The interests of the neocon/Zionist alliance, now in control in America, in manipulating the deepest fears of the populace are now one. From the day of our founding, we have prattled on about rights, freedoms and dignity, while at the same time acting to ensure that nothing of the sort should ever become reality. We invoke the name of Jehovah/Yahweh at every opportunity so that the faceless multitudes should cower and tremble upon hearing his name. We peddle the lie of self-government while we wholly govern everything about you, we take it upon ourselves to become your masters because you so willingly agree to become our slaves. Advancing the interests of the wealthy and ruling elite is the mission that created our nation, paid for by the blood and sweat of your fathers. Once again we invoke the illusion of security so that you may all offer your sons and daughters as cannon fodder in the upcoming war to end all wars. It is the urgent calling of our time.
So it is the policy of the United States to seek and support the growth of democratic movements and institutions in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world.
Translation: Watch out Iran, Syria, Lebanon, and all you other Middle Eastern nations, what is happening in Iraq will soon be happening to you. It is the ultimate goal of spreading American tyranny throughout your land, and inevitably engaging the entire world.
This is not primarily the task of arms, though we will defend ourselves and our friends by force of arms when necessary. Freedom, by its nature, must be chosen, and defended by citizens, and sustained by the rule of law and the protection of minorities. And when the soul of a nation finally speaks, the institutions that arise may reflect customs and traditions very different from our own. America will not impose our own style of government on the unwilling. Our goal instead is to help others find their own voice, attain their own freedom, and make their own way.
Translation: This is primarily a task of arms, as in testing the latest warfare technology on innocent civilians in developing nations, and we will use this force of arms indiscriminately and without provocation while saying that we are acting in our own defense. Freedom, by it's nature, must be believed by those we wish to enslave, they must believe that they choose it willingly, and thus can be easily coerced into defending their slavery, even at the cost of their own lives. And when a nation, or more accurately a nation's leader, doesn't have a soul, it's institutions, customs and traditions will reflect this abscence. America has always imposed it's own style of totalitarianism, especially on the unwilling. It's goal is to plunder and decimate their people and resources, quell the voice of dissent, help other nations attain their own slavery, and imprison and kill those who would speak the truth or stand in it's way.
The great objective of ending tyranny is the concentrated work of generations. The difficulty of the task is no excuse for avoiding it. America's influence is not unlimited, but fortunately for the oppressed, America's influence is considerable, and we will use it confidently in freedom's cause.
Translation: The ruling elite know full well the the implementation of global tyranny is the work of many generations. The difficulty of the task is no excuse for publicizing it, for it's success is dependant on it's secrecy. Now that I have been given a second mandate, America's influence is practically unlimited, which is fortunate for us, but most unfortunate for the world's oppressed, because our version of freedom, as seen in places like Afghanisatn and Iraq, is about to be imposed on the world at large.
My most solemn duty is to protect this nation and its people against further attacks and emerging threats. Some have unwisely chosen to test America's resolve, and have found it firm.
Translation: My most solemn duty is to disguise my true intentions, and keep repeating blatant lies about further attacks and emerging threats. Some have unwisely chosen to question my fundamentalist belief system and found it to be rigid and dogmatic.
We will persistently clarify the choice before every ruler and every nation: The moral choice between oppression, which is always wrong, and freedom, which is eternally right. America will not pretend that jailed dissidents prefer their chains, or that women welcome humiliation and servitude, or that any human being aspires to live at the mercy of bullies.
Translation: I always speak in simplistic dualisms, like either you are with us or against us. And I mean it when I say every ruler and every nation better heed my words because the runaway freight train of American-style democracy will soon be battering down your doors. The American government will spare to effort to ensure that all dissidents, foreign and domestic, will end up in chains, and that the soldiers in my army will inflict the maximum amount of humiliation and servitude upon any men and women unfortunate enough to be labelled as enemy combatants, because when you strip away my facade of kindness and compassion, I am nothing more than a arrogant bully.
We will encourage reform in other governments by making clear that success in our relations will require the decent treatment of their own people. America's belief in human dignity will guide our policies, yet rights must be more than the grudging concessions of dictators; they are secured by free dissent and the participation of the governed. In the long run, there is no justice without freedom, and there can be no human rights without human liberty.
Translation: We will continue to propagate whatever lies we like about other governments and how they treat their own people in order to justify future military action. America's contempt for human dignity will continue to guide our policies, and we only grudgingly pay lip-service to the notion of "rights" because we must hide that fact that we are really a bunch of petty dictators; whose fear of dissent is only matched by our overwhelming scorn for the people we govern. And as long as I'm in power, there will be no justice, no freedom, no human rights, and no human liberty.
Some, I know, have questioned the global appeal of liberty - though this time in history, four decades defined by the swiftest advance of freedom ever seen, is an odd time for doubt. Americans, of all people, should never be surprised by the power of our ideals. Eventually, the call of freedom comes to every mind and every soul. We do not accept the existence of permanent tyranny because we do not accept the possibility of permanent slavery. Liberty will come to those who love it.
Translation: Some, I know, have questioned my psychopathic rantings, though as Adolf Hitler, my mentor in history used to say, a good dictator can never allow any sort of doubt. Americans, of all people, are not likely to wake up to the bubble of illusion that I have surrounded them with. Even though the emergence of fascism will appear right before their eyes, they will not accept the truth of my permanent tyranny and the high probability of permanent slavery. For pain and suffering will come to those who fear it most and are aware of it least.
Today, America speaks anew to the peoples of the world: All who live in tyranny and hopelessness can know: the United States will not ignore your oppression, or excuse your oppressors. When you stand for your liberty, we will stand with you.
Translation: Today, America spouts the same tired rhetoric to the peoples of the world: All who live in fear of my tyranny shall be filled with hopelessness: the United States will augment your oppression, facilitate your oppressors. When you try to stand up for your liberty, we will shoot you down like dogs.
Democratic reformers facing repression, prison, or exile can know: America sees you for who you are: the future leaders of your free country.
Translation: Democratic reformers who are repressed, in prison or in exile can know for certain: America sees what you are trying to do: and our future leaders will make sure you stay that way.
The rulers of outlaw regimes can know that we still believe as Abraham Lincoln did: "Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves; and, under the rule of a just God, cannot long retain it."
Translation: The rulers of nations that
we define as outlaw regimes can know that we will quote from any dead former President if it serves our ends. Even though the words of Abraham Lincoln apply more to us than any other country, it won't stop us seeing this sick and twisted charade to it's final conclusion.
The leaders of governments with long habits of control need to know: To serve your people you must learn to trust them. Start on this journey of progress and justice, and America will walk at your side. And all the allies of the United States can know: we honor your friendship, we rely on your counsel, and we depend on your help. Division among free nations is a primary goal of freedom's enemies. The concerted effort of free nations to promote democracy is a prelude to our enemies' defeat.
Translation: The leaders of governments who desire to emulate America's long habit of control need to know: To serve your people you must first capitulate to our will. Start on this journey of fear-mongering and intimidation and America will walk behind you with a smile on it's face and a knife in your back. And all the allies of the United States can know: your subservience will be rewarded, and even though we don't give a whit about your counsel and help, stick with us long enough and you may share in the spoils of our campaign of terror. Divide and conquer is our modus operandi. The unilateral effort of the world's greatest superpower will snuff out any chance of true democracy, and ensure whoever we label as an enemy will ultimately be defeated.
Today, I also speak anew to my fellow citizens: From all of you, I have asked patience in the hard task of securing America, which you have granted in good measure. Our country has accepted obligations that are difficult to fulfill, and would be dishonorable to abandon. Yet because we have acted in the great liberating tradition of this nation, tens of millions have achieved their freedom. And as hope kindles hope, millions more will find it. By our efforts, we have lit a fire as well - a fire in the minds of men. It warms those who feel its power, it burns those who fight its progress, and one day this untamed fire of freedom will reach the darkest corners of our world.
Translation: Today, I also regurgitate the same tired rhetoric to my loyal serfs and chattel: From all of you I have demanded your total obedience and unwavering sacrifice of your young in the name of national security, which you have granted in good measure. Our country has waged an unnecessary, illegal and immoral war half a world away, whose obligations become more and more difficult to fulfill. But despite the ever-growing number of dead, and because I declare that it would be dishonourable to abandon this task, we may need to reinstate the military draft in the near future. Yet because the lives of the common folk are so insignificant to our plans for global domination, tens of millions have acheived an premature exit from this earthly plane. And if all goes according to plan, tens of millions more will be sacrificed before my bloodlust is satiated. By the efforts of a powerful and sinister few, we have lit the entire world on fire, a fire we hope will engulf every nation and every person in it's all-consuming wrath. It warms the fireplaces of my heavily guarded fortress, it burns to a cinder everyone else who is unfortunate enough not to be me, and one day this untamed fire of my God's aggression will encompass all four corners of the globe.
A few Americans have accepted the hardest duties in this cause - in the quiet work of intelligence and diplomacy ... the idealistic work of helping raise up free governments ... the dangerous and necessary work of fighting our enemies. Some have shown their devotion to our country in deaths that honored their whole lives - and we will always honor their names and their sacrifice.
Translation: A few American and Israeli secret service agents have accepted the hardest duties in this cause - in the quiet work of intelligence and black-ops ... the undercover work of creating the most spectacular false-flag operation in all of history ... the stupendous feat of undertaking a new Pearl Harbour ... infiltrating and bypasssing the most fortified defenses in the world by hijacking four jumbo jets and crashing them into buildings on September 11, 2001 ... and to top it all off, blaming the entire operation on a group of cave dwelling radicals in country we had already planned to invade years before. They have shown their devotion to the ruling elite by scarficing the lives 3,000 innocent people, and shall be honoured their whole lives - and my masters will always be grateful, for none of this would have been possible without them.
All Americans have witnessed this idealism, and some for the first time. I ask our youngest citizens to believe the evidence of your eyes. You have seen duty and allegiance in the determined faces of our soldiers. You have seen that life is fragile, and evil is real, and courage triumphs. Make the choice to serve in a cause larger than your wants, larger than yourself - and in your days you will add not just to the wealth of our country, but to its character.
Translation: Thanks to the media, all Americans were witness to this horrible spectacle, most for the umpteenth time. I ask our youngest citizens to unquestioningly believe the "official version" even if the evidence contradicts their very eyes. You have seen the lengths of depravity we will go to ensure that our agenda is finally realized. You have seen that life is fragile, believed that the illusion is real, and ensured that evil triumphs. You've blindly made the default choice to serve a cause antithetical to the truth, a choice that favours entropy, one that is at odds with the higher part of yourself - and in these last days you will add not just to the demise of your country, but indeed to revealing it's true character.
America has need of idealism and courage, because we have essential work at home - the unfinished work of American freedom. In a world moving toward liberty, we are determined to show the meaning and promise of liberty.
Translation: America depends on illusory idealism and rabid nationalism, because there is still much work to be done at home - the unfinished work of preparing the hypnotized populace for economic meltdown and the imposition of martial law. In a world moving toward greater polarization, myself and the powers that be are determined to use your unwavering faith in our high moral character to show the real world effects of giving away your free will to small group of greedy psychopathic madmen.
In America's ideal of freedom, citizens find the dignity and security of economic independence, instead of laboring on the edge of subsistence. This is the broader definition of liberty that motivated the Homestead Act, the Social Security Act, and the G.I. Bill of Rights. And now we will extend this vision by reforming great institutions to serve the needs of our time. To give every American a stake in the promise and future of our country, we will bring the highest standards to our schools, and build an ownership society. We will widen the ownership of homes and businesses, retirement savings and health insurance - preparing our people for the challenges of life in a free society. By making every citizen an agent of his or her own destiny, we will give our fellow Americans greater freedom from want and fear, and make our society more prosperous and just and equal.
Translation: In the American version of freedom and democracy, citizens find great comfort and security in these lofty ideals, content with the material trifles of fast food and electronic gadgets, falsely believing themselves to be economically independant, all the while their entire financial system is on the verge of collapse. While the majority remains sleepily content and thinks freedom is being able to choose between different brands of carbonated sugar water, my government can then enact such draconian laws as the Homeland Security and Patriot Acts without a whisper of protest. My latest tour-de-force is to pilfer what is left of Social Security under the guise of "reform" in order to fuel my insatiable war machine. I will continue to feed you lies about having a stake in the future of our country, the high standards of our schools, and about building an ownership society. I will distract your attention away from the carnage in Iraq by talking about retirement savings, health insurance and a free society, all the while putting your sons and daughters on the battlefield in harms way with outdated equipment, and cutting their beneifts when they return home all maimed and wounded. By convincing every citizen that they are indeed a master of their own destiny, when exactly the opposite is true, by motivating them with fear, bread and circuses, bankrupting society, lining my own pockets, and spouting trite slogans about prosperity, justice and equality, we will fill our fellow Americans with pride when they willingly sacrifice themselves for the fatherland, and all the while dreaming that they are free.
In America's ideal of freedom, the public interest depends on private character - on integrity, and tolerance toward others, and the rule of conscience in our own lives. Self-government relies, in the end, on the governing of the self. That edifice of character is built in families, supported by communities with standards, and sustained in our national life by the truths of Sinai, the Sermon on the Mount, the words of the Koran, and the varied faiths of our people. Americans move forward in every generation by reaffirming all that is good and true that came before - ideals of justice and conduct that are the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Translation: In America's illusory ideal of freedom, the private interest depends entirely on the suggestibilty of the public - on the false intregrity of their egos coupled with a deep intolerance towards others, and their willingness to be ruled by those in positions of authority. We will continue to govern and control you by repeating the lie that you in fact govern yourselves. I will invoke the names of all three monotheistic religions to give the appearance of fairness, but we all know which one I've been talking to directly, which of course is the only one true God. Americans continue to stagnate in every generation, repeating the same mistakes of the those who came before - ignoring the truth of a grand intra-generational conspiracy which ensures that the keeper of my DNA will always be the one to sit upon the throne, while your descendants continue to live in squalor and do my dirty work. This is the true reality of justice in America as it was the same yesterday, today, and forever.
In America's ideal of freedom, the exercise of rights is ennobled by service, and mercy, and a heart for the weak. Liberty for all does not mean independence from one another. Our nation relies on men and women who look after a neighbor and surround the lost with love. Americans, at our best, value the life we see in one another, and must always remember that even the unwanted have worth. And our country must abandon all the habits of racism, because we cannot carry the message of freedom and the baggage of bigotry at the same time.
Translation: In America's illusory ideal of freedom, the only rights the weak have is to do service for those in power. The only mercy I will show, like I did when executing people as govenor of Texas, will indeed be a reflection of the true nature of my heart. Liberty for all is another hypnotic phrase which is essentially meaningless given the reality of our disparate social positions, and talk of interdependance, the worthiness of the unwanted and neighbourly love are designed specifically to manipulate your emotions and direct away from the fact that judging by my past behaviour, deep down inside, I am racist and a bigot too.
From the perspective of a single day, including this day of dedication, the issues and questions before our country are many. From the viewpoint of centuries, the questions that come to us are narrowed and few. Did our generation advance the cause of freedom? And did our character bring credit to that cause?
Translation: I can say whatever meaningless gobbledygook my speechwriters put on these cards as long as it has the words "freedom" and "character" in it, knowing the sheeple will lap it up.
These questions that judge us also unite us, because Americans of every party and background, Americans by choice and by birth, are bound to one another in the cause of freedom. We have known divisions, which must be healed to move forward in great purposes - and I will strive in good faith to heal them. Yet those divisions do not define America. We felt the unity and fellowship of our nation when freedom came under attack, and our response came like a single hand over a single heart. And we can feel that same unity and pride whenever America acts for good, and the victims of disaster are given hope, and the unjust encounter justice, and the captives are set free.
Translation: I am a uniter and all terrorists are dividers. I am a great healer for the wound that was inflicted upon us, because of my special relationship with that booming authoritarian voice in my head. I put my hand over my heart in a symbolic act of false piety, hopefully engendering feelings of pride and unity in my subordinates. Again, I'll make subtle reference to 9/11, and those poor victims of our deliberate attack upon ourselves, so as to remind all my slavish supporters that them evil terrorists are now on every street corner and under every bed. I'll throw in a couple more "freedoms" and "justice" because it looks like I'm getting near the end of this speech.
We go forward with complete confidence in the eventual triumph of freedom. Not because history runs on the wheels of inevitability; it is human choices that move events. Not because we consider ourselves a chosen nation; God moves and chooses as He wills. We have confidence because freedom is the permanent hope of mankind, the hunger in dark places, the longing of the soul. When our Founders declared a new order of the ages; when soldiers died in wave upon wave for a union based on liberty; when citizens marched in peaceful outrage under the banner "Freedom Now" - they were acting on an ancient hope that is meant to be fulfilled. History has an ebb and flow of justice, but history also has a visible direction, set by liberty and the Author of Liberty.
Translation: I am now confident with my Texan swagger and direct connection to the Almighty that I can wage war indiscrimiately and with abandon, as the good Lord has promised me a heavenly reward should I fulfill his mandate of wiping out all the brown-skinned people who stand in his way abolute and total dominion over this dark planet. God has chosen ME to usher in these end times, to fill up the hole in his blackest of souls, to feed the hunger that gnaws in the pit of his maw. I'm George W. Bush, and I am on a mission for the Author of this reality. This is my destiny. Better throw in a couple more "liberty's" and freedoms", just to be sure.
When the Declaration of Independence was first read in public and the Liberty Bell was sounded in celebration, a witness said, "It rang as if it meant something." In our time it means something still. America, in this young century, proclaims liberty throughout all the world, and to all the inhabitants thereof. Renewed in our strength - tested, but not weary - we are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom.
Translation: By invoking the sentimentality of American history ingrained into each citizen by repeated indoctrination in the education system, once again I reaffirm by explicit intentions to bomb the hell out of any country that so much as looks at me the wrong way. Amen.
May God bless you, and may He watch over the United States of America.
Translation:
...who's the most evil of them all.